I did a crazy thing it seems. I bought a house. By myself. Without a husband. And then, I absolutely did the unthinkable. I got dogs. I know right? Because even in this post-modern society, the idea that a girl can live alone happily without need or want of a manly protector, white picket fence or small sticky jam covered children, is shocking.
It seems to me I have reached the age where hysteria bout finding a mate is starting to set in among both my normally grounded friends and their well meaning family members. Suddenly one friend will wail that person X did not return their call and therefore this means that they are going to die alone, half eaten by caterpillars surrounded by garden gnomes or something similarly ridiculous.
Gosh. I mean really. We are young, our breasts are perky and our laugh lines small. I barely know what I want for dinner most days never mind who I want to co-habit with for as long as I live. If you were to look at me five years ago with black hair, a nose ring and very angry clothing, then at me three years with long blond hair hair, bright pink glasses, studying ecology and acting like a raving hippy and compare that to me now, most people would not even recognise me as the same person.
I still need to figure out who I am and what I stand for. I still need to see the world. I need to make so many mistakes and bad choices before I can be sure I want to settle down and commit my life to a single person forever.
I am lucky though. Where so often people find pressure to conform and settle down I have support. I have a mother who gets me. I have a mom who understands that I am different and that I don't need to conform to be success in life. My mom has supported me through piercings, radically career changes, buying my house, wholly unsuitable men and even large cherry blossom tree tattoo's. My mom tells off the well meaning friends who ask when I will settle, she shows them my tattoo and then tells them how well I am doing at work. When people ask about children she shows them pictures of her two grand-dogs.
My very large cherry blossom tree
My mom always says "Whats meant for you in this life will never pass you by". As far as mom advice goes this is up their with the best. Whether its the missing out on the job you wanted, breaking up with one one you thought would be your person or just the perfect pair of shoes not being available in your size, this piece of advice is one sizes fits all. Whats meant for you may be a picket fence and 2.4 children, it may be beach condo and a scuba instructing job and it may be a little house in Lonehill with 2.4 dogs and a lot of fish.
Whatever it is DON'T PANIC... the world will not pass you by unless you forget to stop and appreciate you're right now. And if you do die alone and are found half-eaten by caterpillars, surrounded by garden gnomes, at least it will be one hell of an anecdote for the person who finds you.
