This year I learnt...

Its that time of year. All around Christmas trees are going up, people are overspending and parktown prawns seem to be in every dark corner. As the roads quieten down and the offices empty out many people get nostalgic about family time and special people in their lives. Some get depressed, some go on holiday and others become the sickeningly festive sort that hum Christmas carols. 

I like to use this time of year to take stock and reflect on things. It's been an interesting year and a big one for me. This year I got the job I had only dreamed I would one day have, I bought a house and I found a family I never knew. I also had to say goodbye to family as they moved away, dealt with an unhealthy relationship and realised what is was like to have no food in my cupboards.

This year I learnt:

1. Green sterrie stumpie is underrated. 
2. Drama is overrated. Avoid it and you will be happier
3. People will walk away from you and sometimes you will need to walk away from people and that is okay.
4. Hangovers get worse as you get older.
5. Oil heaters will melt your skin off if you get too close.
6. People are shit especially when money is involved.
7. The people who are in your life for better or worse, are often the ex-lovers or people you never spoke to in high school, but only sometimes the friend you swore was forever.
8. Dogs are really proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy.
9. It is okay to be selfish sometimes. 
10. There will come a point when your happiness will be more important than that of others.
11. I am imperfect and quite comfortable with that even the squishy bits.
12. Throws from Mr Price are extremely flammable. As are couches.
13. You don't have to like me, in fact you probably will not, and I am okay with that.
14. High heels do in fact equal respect.
15. Being able to count your friends on one hand is a good thing. I used to think it was a weird thing to value. I mean why not say you are blessed if you can count your friends on two hands, or maybe both your hands and your feet? I get it now.
16. And finally: 

Don't Panic

I did a crazy thing it seems. I bought a house. By myself. Without a husband. And then, I absolutely did the unthinkable. I got dogs. I know right? Because even in this post-modern society, the idea that a girl can live alone happily without need or want of a manly protector, white picket fence or small sticky jam covered children, is shocking. 

It seems to me I have reached the age where hysteria bout finding a mate is starting to set in among both my normally grounded friends and their well meaning family members. Suddenly one friend will wail that person X did not return their call and therefore this means that they are going to die alone, half eaten by caterpillars surrounded by garden gnomes or something similarly ridiculous.

Gosh. I mean really. We are young, our breasts are perky and our laugh lines small. I barely know what I want for dinner most days never mind who I want to co-habit with for as long as I live. If you were to look at me five years ago with black hair, a nose ring and very angry clothing,  then at me three years with long blond hair hair, bright pink glasses, studying ecology and acting like a raving hippy and compare that to me now, most people would not even recognise me as the same person. 

I still need to figure out who I am and what I stand for. I still need to see the world. I need  to make so many  mistakes and bad choices before I can be sure I want to settle down and commit my life to a single person forever.  

I am lucky though. Where so often people find pressure to conform and settle down I have support. I have a mother who gets me. I have a mom who understands that I am different and that I don't need to conform to be success in life. My mom has supported me through piercings, radically career changes, buying my house, wholly unsuitable men and even large cherry blossom tree tattoo's. My mom tells off the well meaning friends who ask when I will settle, she shows them my tattoo and then tells them how well I am doing at work. When people ask about children she shows them pictures of her two grand-dogs. 

My very large cherry blossom tree

 My mom always says "Whats meant for you in this life will never pass you by". As far as mom advice goes this is up their with the best. Whether its the missing out on the job you wanted, breaking up with one one you thought would be your  person or just the perfect pair of shoes not being available in your size, this piece of advice is one sizes fits all.  Whats meant for you may be a picket fence and 2.4 children, it may be beach condo and a scuba instructing job and it may be a little house in Lonehill with 2.4 dogs and a lot of fish. 

Whatever it is DON'T PANIC... the world will not pass you by unless you forget to stop and appreciate you're right now. And if you do die alone and are found half-eaten by caterpillars, surrounded by garden gnomes, at least it will be one hell of an anecdote for the person who finds you.

I am Marshal

Selling out - the compromising of, or the perception of compromising, integrity, morality, or principles in exchange for money or success -Wikipedia.org.

As an ecologist working for a mining company I get called a sell-out a lot. And while most people would not study four years of environment and conservation only to join the world of mining, I have always strongly denied being a sell-out. I have truly believed you make more difference working with mining companies that working against them (see post below: A necessary evil - my rant) but recently those words have begun to sound hollow even to me. 

You see while South Africa has some of the most advanced environmental legislation in the world we are not yet ready for it Applications for authorisations can take years to finalise and understanding what activities need to be applied for under three different acts each monitored by a different department can be a minefield. In addition the application of these laws is often extremely hap-hazard and often politically motivated. Its a first world system in a country that for the most part is miles behind.

Another problem with this legislation is affordability of compliance. Proper environmental management can cost more than a given mineral asset may be worth. In this regard Junior mining companies have traditionally gotten away with murder in terms of environmental management. As such junior miners often mine the more marginal resources as the capital outlay associated with legislated environmental management measures would deem many resources unprofitable.

In my job I find myself increasingly trying to motivate measures that while supported in principal we just cannot afford. The process of environmental management, the time frames associated with applications and the cost of infrastructure mean that even the most willing companies often have to reject full compliance and best practice management measures.

At some point even the most hardened activists need to be practical and compromise on the ideal in favour of the possible. The question is at what point is the cost of compromise too much. At what point do you say enough and walk away. Its certainly easier to be idealistic when you are a student without bills to pay.

One of my favourite pieces of prose is by a lady writing as Oriah Mountain Dreamer. Its called The invitation and the author describes it as an expression of all the things she really did want to know about and share with others. The final line of this poem asks "I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments." I suppose when the answer to that question is no that is when you realise you have in fact sold out... 

Snippets of Zambia

I recently started working for a large mining corporate... These are some shots from my first business trip into Zambia.

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